See, the thing about breast cancer is just how sneaky it is. It’s not until this disease comes at you – you realise just how bad minded and evil it truly is. Over the few weeks since I have been diagnosed with it, it hasn’t just moved in and had the audacity to take refuge in my body……its also playing with my mind and my sanity. When you actually read about breast cancer, its statistics and how it loves to visit other areas of your body and build new homes for rent or shared ownership, its only then you realise you are never really “free” of it. There are so many women out there who are living with secondary breast cancer and I am yet to be scanned for this little bitch who may have already started to build a picket fence somewhere else within my 5’6 frame. I wont discuss the width of my frame currently but needless to say the bitch has plenty of room for property development!
Every little ache I have had in the last 6 weeks sends my mind into overdrive….this is not helped by the fact that every where I turn CANCER is the topic of the month and on every menu…….even now that breast awareness month has passed, the TV is running an AD campaign about Lung Cancer! I’m like….WTF! I even went to get my car MOT’ed whilst I was in the week of waiting for my results and the MOT tester who I know well through other friends was telling me how his dad is in hospital with cancer and how cancer is just everywhere…….im like DOUBLE WTF!! The man didnt even realise at that point he was standing just a couple of feet away from a growing tumour loitering in my breast!!
As for the twat that invented Google! It’s either your best friend, or your worse enemy. If I google some of the symptoms of the little aches, twinges, pains etc I have been having of late…..all of them….and I mean all of them have returned results telling me I have cancer in every organ and orifice within my body. In the last month, the Google Doctor has advised me that I have breast cancer (yep…knew that already), brain cancer, liver cancer, bowel cancer, ovarian cancer, bone cancer, cervical cancer, leukaemia and non-hodgkins lymphoma. I kid you not…..and its no fun.
One thing that I have learned from my peer support group of breast cancer ladies is that from now on in – any pain or symptom I experience will frighten the living daylight and heeby jeebies out of me and I will be a well-known visitor to my GP and if he didnt know me by first name before…..he sure as hell will now.
Welcome to my new world of Hypochondria. As I sit here typing this post I have a nervy type pain in my neck….don’t know where the heck its come from and I have never felt it up until last week….so of course…I went to see Dr Google today and sure enough, I have neck cancer! Will this ever END!