There is nothing (that I can think of) like finding a lump in your breast that will engage such a deep and horrifying feeling of sheer horror in mammoth proportions. I can recall the date, time, where I was, what I was doing to pinpoint precision. It’s exactly like that moment when something so HUGE happens in life that its like a freeze frame moment (think Luther King/Kennedy Assassinations, 9/11 Twin Towers, Far East Earthquakes & Tsunamis of 2004 & 2011, Inauguration of Obama) . Most people will recall exactly what they were doing at those times….even if you were asleep….you remember that you were asleep!
It was 07:10 on Wednesday 21st September 2011. Laying in bed watching Daybreak on the TV before the attempt to climb out of bed and jump in the shower. My husband had already been downstairs to make the traditional early morning cuppa that he knows I just CANNOT function without and come back to bed for a bit. My hubby, Rannie, makes the cuppa Monday to Friday, I make the cuppa Saturday & Sunday so he gets an extra lie in (a bit of pointless info there but some other couples may read this a think Awwwww)
Anyway…..so there we were laying in bed, supping on our cuppas, watching TV when i suddenly felt like some little critter nipped me on the end of my right breast, if it was 11:30pm the night before it would have probably been Rannie, but unfortunately on this occasion it was not. So my automatic reaction was to brush off what ever had bitten me then attempt to discover what it was. Instantly as I went to brush off the critter my hand landed on something hard. It wasnt a bump, it was more a lump…..and….it wasnt ON my breast it was IN it!
I shot bolt upright in bed like an erect tackle trying to feel this lump in more detail and trying to confirm I really was not sleeping. I was definitely not sleeping and if I am sleeping will somebody pleazzzzzzzzzzz wake me up already!!!! As I am not Pamela Ewing in Dallas who had the longest ass dream EVER! (folks under 40 probably wont make any sense of the Pamela Ewing reference….go ask an elder)
After about 1 minute of poking, prodding, feeling, squeezing I asked Rannie to have a feel…….poor bloke must have though his luck was in for a minute……so he had a prod, poke, feel and squeeze and confirmed there was most certainly a lump in my breast. I remember distinctly “kissing my teet”. It was a long ass kiss teet as well.
Instantly……for no reason other than instinct…..I knew…..I had breast cancer.