Well, I have been procrastinating about doing the final shave for days now. I couldn’t deal with it mid week due to chemo. However, by Friday, my hair was falling at an alarming rate, hair everywhere and I mean everywhere, on my clothes, in my cup of tea, on the floor, in my bed, all up in the hand basin and bath, it was just too much. Plus the loose hair was causing acute stabbing pains in my actual head and scalp, it was really sore, only those who have experienced the soreness of chemo scalp will understand. Almost like someone stabbing pins and needles into my scalp is the best way to describe it.
Having a patches of hair on my head actually made me look sick, so it was time for it to go. The kids had all gone out tonight, Tashan was filming and doing photography at an event at Birmingham Christian Centre, Leon was Dj’ing and Tyreke was at grandma’s helping her prepare the mixtures for her Christmas cakes. So empty house, just Rannie and I, so we decided together that we should do it now, just he and I, no drama.
He actually spent quite a long time, buzzing down as far as his professional hair shavers would let him, then out came his razor, and gently, patiently and carefully he shaved every last hair from my head. Its amazing, as soon as the hair was off, all the pain stopped…..in an instant.
I said I wasnt sure if I could show you me as a bald woman. As women our hair represents and says so much about us, it frames our facial features. A good head of hair invites compliments from male and females alike. We play with our hair, try different looks, we straighten it, cornrow it, plait it, afro-puff it, twist it, buck wild it….whatever. Damn…..I can’t even weave mine as I have nothing to weave it too! DAMN DAMN DAMN. But its MY reality and whether I like it or not I have to accept this is just part of my treatment. Everyone knows I didn’t shave it off to make a statement of some sort but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
I’ve stood and stared at myself in the mirror for the last 10 minutes, trying to imagine how I’d look with a bit of make up, some earrings and some statement jewellery. I’ve never been a “girlie girl” but jhezzz I’m gonna have to get my self some quick sharp lessons to try and override the “cancer victim look”. I will get my girls to come down and we can work something for sure.
And another thing – backside……its COLD!! Im walking through the house and I can feel pure cold air breezing over my scalp….and my heating is on…believe me! How do bald men cope with this come winter? I can certainly imagine the benefits of a bald head during a hot summer (not that we’ve seen one of those in recent years) but DAYYYYYMMMMNNN. I wonder if I will get goose pimples on my head???
And another thing, ya’ll need to know that your hair covers up a multitude of sins on your head. Little dips in your skull, pimples, uneven skin tone. I know I have moles, but I have nuff on my scalp too! All Im doing is looking at the imperfections on my head!! And its a different colour to my face – I cant even go out and get little suntan to blend it in!!! *Lisa wonders if fake tan can work a little something* 🙂
Well, I’m gonna wash down my head and grease it up with my 100% pure coconut oil and get a likkle shine going on 🙂 Then will decide whether to reveal it to the public domain. I probably will, I have to be brave about it. I know I’m going to get the “Lisa you look fine stop worrying”comments and im not gonna knock anyone making me feel better about myself. But its a well hard road to cross. I will post pictures in my next blog.
Im just telling myself…..its a chapter in my life, its for a season. This too, shall pass.
Much Love, Light & Blessings to you all